journals

i still don't really know what to write about. i'm sitting all alone in my room, all alone on the 5th floor, all alone in the whole house. except for maids rushing back and forth with dusters and putting away balloons and food over on all the tables. i'm just sitting here.. eyes strained from a whole morning on the computer including the night party set up for my dad. the party was a real poop because i made it a surprise for my dad and he never returned home that night. all of us waited.. all of us meant me, my new dog and my sister who rushed back to sleep after discovering dad was away for a meeting in ap. she had to wake up early to catch the plane to delhi for her college preparations. i won't blame anyone here for anything.. all i can think of is coming back to school now. when i was back there, i was excited for the holidays and i was waiting for it all along. my parents couldn't come for my sister's graduation and she was disappointed since.. you know.. after all it was her graduation. my aunt had to come pick us up at the last minute. when i came home after a few days in delhi.. hardly anyone was home and when i saw my mom she was already packing her luggage and she said, 'honey, you're home! welcome back.. go eat the refreshments that your aunt made for you and im really sorry but i got to go now... bye baby' and she gave me a quick kiss on my cheek and rushed towards the second car that came along. there you go.. i just stood there with suitcases on either side of me and my dad's secratary behind me. looking up at my house and knowing that no one would be in there to hug and tell them i miss them was already a sign to me that this holiday wont be that great....